Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful tasks you can take on after losing someone you love. It is a chance to tell their story, honor their life, and let the community know of their passing. For many families, it is also one of the most emotionally challenging pieces of writing they will ever face.
The good news is that writing an obituary does not require professional writing skills. What it requires is care, honesty, and a willingness to reflect on what made this person who they were. Whether you are writing an obituary for a parent, spouse, sibling, friend, or even pre-writing your own, this guide will walk you through the process step by step.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written notice of someone's death that typically includes biographical information, details about surviving family members, and information about memorial or funeral services. Obituaries serve multiple purposes -- they announce the death to the broader community, celebrate the person's life, and provide logistical details about services.
An obituary is different from a death notice, which is a shorter, more factual announcement that simply states the person's name, age, date of death, and service information. Obituaries are longer, more personal, and tell the story of the person's life.
What to Include in an Obituary
A well-written obituary typically includes the following elements, roughly in this order:
- Full legal name -- Include the person's full name, including maiden name if applicable. Many obituaries also mention well-known nicknames in quotation marks.
- Age at death -- The person's age at the time of passing.
- Date of death -- The specific date the person passed away.
- Place of death -- The city and state where the death occurred.
- Date and place of birth -- Where and when the person was born.
- Parents' names -- The names of the person's parents, including the mother's maiden name.
- Education -- Schools attended and degrees earned, if relevant.
- Career and professional life -- Occupations, employers, military service, and notable professional accomplishments.
- Marriage and family -- Spouse's name, date of marriage, and names of children.
- Hobbies, interests, and passions -- The things that brought them joy and defined their personality beyond work and family.
- Community involvement -- Church membership, volunteer work, club memberships, and civic organizations.
- Survivors -- A list of surviving family members, typically including spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, and sometimes close friends.
- Predeceased by -- Family members who passed before them.
- Service details -- Date, time, and location of the funeral, memorial service, visitation, or celebration of life.
- Charitable donations -- If the family prefers donations to a charity in lieu of flowers, include the organization name and how to donate.
You do not need to include every item on this list. Choose what is most relevant and meaningful for the person you are honoring.
Obituary Structure: A Step-by-Step Outline
Following a clear structure makes the writing process easier and ensures the obituary flows naturally. Here is a recommended outline.
Opening Statement
Begin with the person's full name, age, and the date and place of death. This sets the factual foundation. You can keep it straightforward or add a brief descriptive phrase.
Straightforward example: "Margaret Anne Wilson, 78, of Nashville, Tennessee, passed away on February 15, 2026."
Descriptive example: "Margaret Anne Wilson, a devoted mother and lifelong educator, passed away peacefully on February 15, 2026, at her home in Nashville, Tennessee. She was 78."
Biographical Summary
Follow the opening with a narrative of the person's life. Start with birth details and parents, then move through education, career, marriage, and family. This section should read as a story, not a list.
Personal Details and Character
This is where the obituary comes alive. Describe what the person was like -- their personality, passions, quirks, and what they will be remembered for. Did they love gardening, fishing, cooking Sunday dinners, or cheering for a particular sports team? Were they known for their sense of humor, their generosity, or their stubborn determination? These details transform a list of facts into a portrait of a real person.
Survivors and Predeceased
List surviving family members and those who preceded the person in death. The traditional order is spouse, children (and their spouses), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, and then other significant relationships.
Service Information
Provide the date, time, and location of any services. Include details about visitation, funeral or memorial services, and whether the service is open to the public or private.
Closing
End with any requests regarding flowers, charitable donations, or condolences. You may also include a brief closing sentiment or a quote that held meaning for the person.
Obituary Length Guidelines
Obituary length depends on where you plan to publish and how detailed you want the tribute to be.
| Type | Approximate Length | Best For |
|---|---|---|
| Death notice | 50 -- 100 words | Newspaper announcements, brief public notification |
| Standard obituary | 200 -- 400 words | Newspaper publication, funeral home website |
| Extended obituary | 500 -- 1,000+ words | Online memorials, funeral programs, personal keepsake |
For newspaper publication, shorter is generally more practical (and less expensive). For online platforms and funeral home websites, you have more room to tell the full story.
Where to Publish an Obituary
There are several options for publishing an obituary, and many families choose more than one.
Newspaper Publication
Traditional newspaper obituaries remain a common choice, particularly for reaching local communities and older family friends who may not use the internet regularly. Most newspapers charge by the word, by the line, or by the column inch, and prices can vary significantly.
| Publication Method | Typical Cost | Reach |
|---|---|---|
| Local newspaper | $100 -- $500+ | Local community |
| Major metro newspaper | $300 -- $1,000+ | Broader regional audience |
| National newspaper | $500 -- $2,000+ | Nationwide (rare, typically for notable individuals) |
Costs depend on the newspaper, the length of the obituary, whether a photo is included, and how many days the obituary runs. A short death notice in a small-town paper may cost as little as $50, while a full obituary with a photo in a major metropolitan newspaper can exceed $1,000.
Funeral Home Website
Most funeral homes maintain an online obituary section on their website. Posting an obituary on the funeral home's site is typically included in the cost of their services at no additional charge. These pages often allow visitors to leave condolences, share memories, and send flowers.
Free Online Obituary Platforms
Several websites allow you to create and publish obituaries for free. These platforms offer wider reach than a single newspaper and allow for longer, more detailed tributes. Popular options include Legacy.com, Echovita, and EverLoved. Some platforms offer free basic listings with optional paid upgrades for enhanced features like photo galleries and video tributes.
Social Media
Many families also share obituaries on social media platforms like Facebook. This can be an effective way to quickly reach a wide network of friends and acquaintances. Some families create dedicated memorial pages where people can share photos and memories.
Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary
The difference between a forgettable obituary and one that truly honors a person often comes down to the details. Here are some tips to keep in mind.
- Write in the third person -- Obituaries are traditionally written in the third person ("She was" rather than "I was" or "You were").
- Be specific -- Instead of saying someone "loved their family," describe how they showed that love. Did they attend every grandchild's soccer game? Did they cook Thanksgiving dinner for 30 people every year? Specifics make the person come alive on the page.
- Include their voice -- If the person had a favorite saying, a signature phrase, or a particular sense of humor, let that come through. An obituary that reflects the person's own personality is far more meaningful than a generic template.
- Balance formality and warmth -- An obituary should feel respectful but not stiff. It is perfectly appropriate to include lighthearted anecdotes or moments of humor if they are true to who the person was.
- Ask others for input -- Reach out to family members, close friends, and colleagues for stories and details you may not know. Different people experience different sides of a person, and their contributions can enrich the obituary.
- Read it aloud -- Before finalizing, read the obituary out loud. This helps you catch awkward phrasing, run-on sentences, and anything that does not sound natural.
- Take your time -- If possible, give yourself a day or two to write and revise. Grief can make it difficult to concentrate, and stepping away for a few hours can bring fresh perspective.
Sample Obituary Template
Here is a basic template you can adapt to fit your needs.
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [peacefully/suddenly/after a courageous battle with illness] on [Date of Death].
Born on [Date of Birth] in [City, State] to [Father's Name] and [Mother's Name (Maiden Name)], [First Name] grew up in [City/Town] and graduated from [School Name] in [Year]. [He/She/They] went on to [education, career, or military service details].
On [Date], [First Name] married [Spouse's Name], and together they [built a life in City/raised X children/etc.]. [First Name] worked as a [occupation] at [employer] for [number] years, where [he/she/they] was known for [notable quality or achievement].
[First Name] was passionate about [hobbies, interests, activities]. [He/She/They] was a devoted member of [church, organization, or community group] and loved [specific activity or tradition].
[First Name] is survived by [list of survivors with relationships]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [list of predeceased family members].
A [funeral service/memorial service/celebration of life] will be held on [Date] at [Time] at [Location]. [Visitation details if applicable.]
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to [Charity Name and contact information].
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Even with the best intentions, there are some pitfalls to watch for when writing an obituary.
- Forgetting to proofread -- Misspelled names, incorrect dates, and grammatical errors are more common than you might think. Have at least one other person review the obituary before publication.
- Omitting surviving family members -- Accidentally leaving someone out of the survivors list can cause lasting hurt. Double-check with multiple family members to ensure everyone is included.
- Being too vague -- Phrases like "beloved by all" and "will be greatly missed" are well-intentioned but generic. Specific details and anecdotes are what make an obituary memorable.
- Including sensitive information -- Avoid mentioning details that the person or their family would want kept private. If the cause of death is sensitive, it is perfectly acceptable to simply say "passed away" without elaboration.
- Forgetting service logistics -- Make sure the date, time, address, and any special instructions (such as parking or dress code) are accurate and complete. People rely on the obituary for this information.
- Not specifying the preferred name -- If the person went by a nickname or middle name rather than their legal first name, include both so that all readers can identify who the obituary is about.
Pre-Writing Your Own Obituary
A growing number of people are choosing to write their own obituaries in advance. This can be a surprisingly liberating exercise -- it gives you the chance to tell your own story in your own words and removes the burden from your family during a difficult time.
If you are pre-writing your own obituary, leave blanks for the date of death and final service details. Store the document with your other end-of-life plans and make sure at least one trusted family member knows where to find it.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should an obituary be?
There is no required length for an obituary. A standard newspaper obituary is typically 200 to 400 words, which covers the essential biographical details, survivors, and service information. Online obituaries can be longer -- 500 to 1,000 words or more -- allowing room for personal stories, detailed life histories, and tributes from multiple family members. The right length depends on where you plan to publish and how much you want to share.
How much does it cost to publish an obituary in a newspaper?
Newspaper obituary costs vary widely. A short death notice in a small local paper may cost as little as $50 to $100, while a full-length obituary with a photo in a major metropolitan newspaper can cost $300 to $1,000 or more. Pricing is typically based on word count, line count, or column inches, with additional charges for photos and multi-day publication. Online obituary platforms and funeral home websites often publish obituaries at no additional charge.
Can I write an obituary without using a funeral home?
Yes. There is no requirement that an obituary be written or published through a funeral home. Anyone can write and submit an obituary directly to a newspaper, online platform, or social media page. Funeral homes often offer obituary writing as a complimentary service, which can be helpful during a stressful time, but it is entirely optional. Writing the obituary yourself gives you full control over the content and tone.
Should I include the cause of death in the obituary?
Including the cause of death is a personal decision and is not required. Some families choose to mention it, particularly when raising awareness about a specific illness, when the person had a long and public battle with a disease, or when the death was the result of military service. Others prefer privacy and simply state that the person "passed away peacefully" or "died unexpectedly." There is no right or wrong approach -- do what feels most respectful and comfortable for your family.
Who should be listed as survivors in an obituary?
Survivors are typically listed in the following order: spouse or partner, children (and their spouses), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, and then other significant relationships such as nieces, nephews, or close friends. It is common to include the city and state where each survivor lives. If the list is very long, you may use phrasing like "and many beloved nieces, nephews, and friends" rather than naming every individual. The most important thing is to ensure no immediate family member is accidentally omitted.